Just read stopped reading another 'Spike and Willow have sex and she's ashamed of it' fic.



What gives, people? This is not the stone age!! What is it about sex that makes all y'all think its a shameful thing? Just about everybody does it. And of those who aren't, 90% of those are trying to. And for the other 10% of you, many of you are writing fic about it! So what gives?

In the majority of the stories of this ilk that I've read (Willow has sex with Spike that she feels horribly guilty about before, during and after - and then, more often than not does it again!) I've not been able to get over the fact that people even think this is worth writing about. It seems to be a popular theme; I've read 9 of them (yes, I'm keeping track; no I won't give out titles because then it looks like I'm picking on people) and yet people still will find a "new" twist on the theme and try it out again. I'm frankly baffled. Is this a turn on for people? Do people (other than me) genuinely enjoy reading it and that's why it flourishes? Don't know, don't care; just wish people would get over their hang-ups and move on.

I will, for the sake of clarity, confine this rant to the character of Willow, even though many authors are guilty of using this lame (to me) plot point while writing many different characters (especially, it seems, if they're having said sex with Spike, but that's a whole other WTF-is-up-with-Kick-the-Spike? rant). But there seems to be a proliferation of Spike/Willow Ashamed!Sex fics, set primarily (but not exclusively) in s7 before the fall of Sunnydale. I think I keep reading them in the hope that ONE will grow a brain but that has yet to happen. I actually wrote my own fic in this oevre once (but mine was grotesquely fluffy), just to get one out there, but no one has yet seen fit to follow my lead.

Back to Willow: my main point about Willow is that if she thought she was going to feel guilty about it, do you honestly think Willow would have had the sex in the first place? Xander, of course; Buffy, probably; Anya wouldn't think she'd feel guilty (although Joss and Co. gave us Anya guilt in s6, which she thankfully got over -in spades- in s7)

But Willow? That just doesn't make sense.


Now, to clarify about sex itself:

There are many different ways to look at sex.

1.) Making love: a physical and emotional connection between two people who genuinely love each other, whether its an enduring love or not.

2.) Sex as a physical release: Everybody (I hope) knows that there's nothing better for loosening the muscles and the brain than a mind-blowing orgasm.

3.) Exercise: It gets the heart pumping like nothing else can and its the best way ever discovered to work up a sweat.

4.) Sex as fun, playing: Yes, sex can be FUN, people. Ain't a better way to spend the night I've yet found than with fifteen of your favourite play friends!

5.) Sex as a sleeping pill: Anyone over the age of 21 who says they've never masturbated themselves to sleep is probably lying. It's even more fun if you have a friend there to help.

6.) Fuck buddies: Because nights are long, dark, cold and/or lonely. Just because I don't want to marry you forever doesn't mean I want to sleep by myself tonight.

7.) 8000 more excuses and every damn one of them is excellent and worth exploring.


What's to be ashamed of, Willow-authors?

So she had sex with someone who once tried to kill her?
      Lots of non-fictional people can say that too. I'm not naming names, but you know who you are. The boy changed or haven't you been reading your Redemptionista essays?

So she slept with someone her friends don't approve of?
      You and 98% of the sexually-active women in the world. Can you say Parker? Or Anya? Or Faith? Or Eve? Or Lilah? Or Kennedy? Or... I could be here for literally days.

So she had a mind-blowing orgasm with someone she's not in love with?
      MORE POWER TO HER!!! With orgasms like that, the boy deserves a shot at something more permanent.

So there was some form of submission involved that was maybe a little demeaning in retrospect?
      Well, sit right down and tell me all about it cuz I'm getting warm just thinking about it and I want every single glorious detail.


Hon, if you're going to make Willow (or any other character) ashamed, you're giving in to the small-minded toadies of the world who once told women that they were whores if they made a sound during sex. You're propegating the society that said men ruled the world and women were second class citizens.

It's a damn shame when grown women (and men, I suppose) feel the need to follow the same tired and sorry formulae over and over again.

We're only the weaker sex if we allow ourselves to be and my fellow Willow-writers, you are sending us back to a time when women didn't have the right own land - when women didn't have the right to petition for a divorce - when women were their husband's property. If you take away Willow's right to have sex and enjoy it - you're giving us all a bad name.

And I for one refuse to go down with you.

I have no problem with angsty fic (as long as you don't make me read it) but when the sole angst in a story is Willow being ashamed because she had consensual sex (for whatever reason) with someone just because of who they are and it was ::gasp:: sex, you're giving fanfiction that bad name that you always think someone else is bringing down on us.

Get a grip or get out of fanfiction. We don't need you.